I think I just lost the loml should I go back?

I moved to a new country a little over a month ago to study, and within two weeks of arriving I met this guy. We clicked instantly and exchanged socials. Later I realized he was actually a friend of a friend — even though we’re from different countries and the mutual connection is on another continent — which honestly made it feel kind of “meant to be.”

We started seeing each other pretty quickly. He was everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner: caring, thoughtful, observant, and respectful.

The issue is that I went through a really traumatic breakup a little over a year ago, and I had promised myself I wouldn’t date anyone until I graduated. So even though I liked him a lot, I had major commitment issues. My feelings were very split — emotionally I wanted to be with him, but mentally I didn’t feel ready.

We went on 6 dates in about 2 weeks. He asked me to be his girlfriend on the 3rd date and I said no. Then on the 5th date, I said yes because in that moment it felt right.

But after our last date, something shifted. The date itself was beautiful — cherry blossoms, deep conversations, everything felt almost surreal. But when I got home, instead of feeling happy, I felt anxious and overwhelmed. It hit me that I had just moved to a new country and already had a boyfriend, and it felt like too much too fast.

I had told him from the beginning that I wanted to take things slow, but our chemistry was so strong that I couldn’t really stick to that. Because of this, I became really emotionally unstable — going from wanting to be with him to wanting to be alone, and being scared of falling in love again. I think this back-and-forth really confused him.

Eventually, I told him how I felt, and he said he was drained from the inconsistency and that we should stop. I agreed, even though it was hard. Deep down, I think I knew it was the right decision.

Afterward, he blocked me on Instagram but still checks my TikTok profile sometimes.

Now I keep thinking… if I had met him a few months later, maybe things would have worked out.

So I’m wondering — if I eventually feel ready for a relationship, would it make sense to reach out to him again? Or should I just let this go?