I was denied being able to donate plasma fucking twice

fucking goddam pieces of shit parachute or whatever the fuck it's called. I went to donate plasma once but apparently I'm too goddamn fat. I gave up went back to my shit fucking dorm to cry myself to sleep and eventually got a fucking message from them that said the had lifted the deferral so I could donate. I didn't go back immediately and eventually I ended up cutting myself because, guess what? when i did go back the next week (i.e. today) they fucking refused me again despite the cut showing clear signs of healing, no infection markers, none of the bullshit that would've been a disqualifier. I even googled before hand ANY AND EVERY REASON you could be turned away and I was fucking fne. I even begged saying how much I need the fucking 50 dollars. I don't have a real fucking job, I work on campus and all my money goes immediately into tuition so I have no fucking money for myself, literally no family to help me, I can't fucking make friends because for some goddamn reason people avoid me like the plague. so I'm probably going to cut myself again tonight and see how fucking happy I get from that. it's all goddamn bullshit.