lost my friend and my money and my crush likes to play games with me

Idek where to start because everything feels like it’s collapsing at once

i got scammed and i feel stupid and worthless. i was just trying to sell my laptop on Dubizzle, and for once someone didn’t try to negotiate a lower price. he agreed to the price immediately and sent what looked like a reliable link to transfer funds to me, and i fell for it. i provided the authentication code thinking i was receiving money, not sending it. i can’t even blame my stupidity on my young age, i don’t know what made me not stop and think, i guess it was the excitement that someone would actually buy it at my price. and he took everything

it’s been 5 days and i haven’t heard back from the bank if they’ll return my money or not and it makes me wanna cry. the thought of all that money being gone because of my stupid mistake, and him just getting away with it, is eating me alive. i reported him to the police but it’s still under investigation, and my mom said they can’t really do anything especially if he’s outside the country, so now i have zero faith that justice will even be served. and if the bank refuses to give me back the money then there’s nothing i can do and it’s all gone. my case looks weak as hell because on paper it looks like i agreed to give him the money even though i didn’t. the thought of him just enjoying my hard earned money makes me wanna leave the earth. i’m sorry if i’m being dramatic but i genuinely can’t stop thinking about it and i can’t sleep either

at the same time i also lost my best friend again, for like the third time. i kept complaining that she would never reply to our group chat and she took it as me trying to start fights for no reason. then she accused me of saying she suffered less because her dad died at a young age, which i can bet my life i never said. even when i was 12 i would never go that far. and she decided to “go our separate ways” again, which she’s done since the 8th grade whenever she finds a new batch of friends. she always finds a way to ditch me and my other friend, then somehow we end up back as a trio again later

i hate feeling like a burden but she makes me feel like we are a burden. she says things like it takes so much social battery and energy to text us or even call us. even when we’d go out and laugh together she would get embarrassed and say “guys people are watching” when literally no one was watching. what made it worse is when my other friend showed me messages she sent about me, saying i always start fights and i’ll lose friends if i keep doing that. she even brought up an old situation with another friend to make me look bad, even though at the time she sided with me because i was objectively innocent. that friend literally ended up apologizing to me and now we’re fine and even hung out recently, so the example she used was completely bogus

and the worst part is she ignores her own pattern. she makes new friends, fights with them, then comes back to us, and even had a falling out with an entire group before, but i would never use that against her the way she did to me just to get the upper hand. it just makes me feel like i’m the problem, like i’m too much, like i’m exhausting

and then there’s work. my crush is doing this push and pull thing where one moment he’s warm, calling me by my nickname, smooth talking, laughing with me, giving hints, and the next he ignores me or gives me dry energy like i’m a stranger. and he doesn’t act like that with anyone else we work with. it really hurts my feelings even if this is one sided, which it probably is because why would he ever go for me

so now everything is just piling up. the scam, losing my friend, him pulling away, being broke until payday, and the fact that even with the scam it might take until july and i still might not get my money back. all of it just makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me in general, like i’m just someone people take from, leave, or get tired of

i sometimes can’t believe god chose to create a human like me