College and Universities

Hi guys. This might be a little long and all over the place so i hope it makes sense. I’m currently a sophomore in college (20F) i’ve been at community college for 2 years, but my grades were so bad last year at this point I should start telling people i took a gap year. anyways, since this bad grades, my gpa is TERRIBLE. i’ve always dreamed of going to university, and i’ve applied to WSU a couple times but they keep rejecting me, which is really embarrassing tbh because that’s an EASY school to get into. anyways i’ve just been feeling so depressed staying at home, for the past two years all my friends have excelled and done so much at university’s, had so much fun. I’m already at the age where i will NEVER be in a sorority, which that one was already hard for me. but now im scared ill never be at university, im still really struggling with school, and i feel like freshman and sophomore year are fundament at a university to make friends, party, all the stuff before you actually turn 21. and the part making it worse is my brother graduates next year, he’s INCREDIBLY smart and he’s thinking about going to the university i wanted to go to and rushing, super proud of him, but i know it’s gonna kill me just a little watching him live what i wanted to do so bad. im not even sure if im asking for advice or what here. im just spiraling. i want to be at a university having fun with all these people SO bad. more than anything, but im stuck in my stupid hometown with my parents in my 20s. i should probably also mention i was in an abusive relationship in highschool, so i as well did not have good grades, or apply to any colleges, or go out and party or anything of that stuff, so this is all new to me. i already missed the high school experience, i don’t want to miss the college experience as well but, that’s already on its course.