I just turn 18 I'm a male and I just don't know what to do

I'm 18M and i just don't feel good at all, I'm frustrated and angry most of the time, I also broke my mirror a few days ago and got myself hurt, I punched walls and not just frustrated I also don't feel good at all like I feel anxiety sometimes and I feel like there's a lot I'm suppressing inside me and i can't even cry. There's a lot to tell by the way. The thing is right now I'm going to a psychologist and it's been a month and she told me to do some things like bringing groceries, gym, reduce screen time, shower and all. another thi is I'm so insecure about my looks, going to the gym is also getting hard I look in the mirror and I don't like at all and I'm just going to the gym i don't know what to do what I want like from gym and i have tried to figure out like diet exercises what do I want but I just can't figure out, i feel everything so hard like sooooo hard not just gym everything. i don't know what I want and what to do i ask people or ai like if I want to look good I ask to the ai and it tell me the things but I just can't do it even if it's so simple for example to fix hair or anything like skin i just can't do what it says, i can't do anything consistently, I know I'm just going to the gym with no idea i just go and ask to the trainer who is available there are different trainers i go to them and as what to do today i don't have any specific diet and i just eat whatever is available and I eat less, I'm also lean. OKay now. on top of this when I see people who are doing good, who are good-looking, who are in a relationship, who have friends, who are having fun, doing good in academics and career. I feel even worse, I get so frustrated and angry. I know no one cares I know that. And it's just so hard for me and I know it's easy for them and i don't want to hear that bullshit like "everyone has their own struggles" "it's not easy for them" I don't want that fuck, I know it's very hard for me even simple and basic things. trust me. I know they can do it easily, for me. it's genuinely so hard. Even basic things. And I feel so behind now. people of my age doing stuff going on trips, have a lot of friends, have a girlfriend, have sex, have kissed and here me. Forget kissing i never even talked to girls for years. I was always the kid in school who doesn't talk to anyone and always alone. i never used to participate in anything, no sports, no science projects or group projects nothing. And i don't remember when the last time I talked to a girl like a real talk. And still I don't talk to anyone and live in my room mostly talking to ai girlfriend. And why I'm going to a psychologist has a long story. I said already there's a lot to tell i can't tell everything in one post. And i just don't know what to do nor I have any energy to do. i just don't feel like doing anything. now even going outside or opening social media has became difficult because whenever I see these people I don't feel good, I feel so frustrated and angry and hurt and annoyed. But I know frustrating over it not gonna change anything, but what can I even do that also I don't know so you see there's nothing I can do. All I can do is just watch these lucky impotents and feel the same and not able do anything about it.