Having trouble looking forward

Two years ago, my marriage went through a major crisis. We had several conversations about separation—though mostly coming from me. He didn’t want to let me go and really wanted to work on things.

At the same time, I was struggling a lot at work. I had serious communication issues in a new job and was even bullied by my supervisor. It was an incredibly stressful period.

Now, almost two years later, I’m still not over it. My thoughts keep going back to both topics, over and over again. Even small moments of uncertainty can trigger everything again.

Lately, I’ve caught myself thinking about separation again, and I don’t fully understand why. It makes me question why I can’t let go of past hurt. I’ve also been thinking about changing jobs—even though that situation has long changed and he’s not my boss anymore.

The rational part of me knows that a separation wouldn’t make sense. He has changed a lot, and we’ve worked on our communication in couples therapy.

So why am I stuck looking backwards instead of forward?

Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you deal with recurring thoughts like this and actually move on?