Prenatal Depression as a FTM

I just needed somewhere to vent out how I’m feeling because if I see it out loud, I’m afraid I will sound so ungrateful.

I dealt with infertility for so long as well as prior miscarriages. We were about to do IVF and this is all I’ve ever wanted and yet when I felt pregnant naturally I was just overcome with anxiety and self doubt.

Doubt in my relationship, finances, how I’m going to raise a child.. whereas before getting pregnant, I longed for this and thought I had it all figured out.

It’s become really difficult to get out of bed or get up at all during the day, even though I don’t suffer from sickness. The intrusive thoughts have been getting worse, to the point where last night, my husband and I were having “relations” and I just started thinking about my parents dying, everyone dying and started crying during the deed and hid my face.

I’m not sure where any of this is coming from but last night I had a full blown anxiety after and crying attack this morning. I feel so down too.

I’m going to try to combat this natural ways and start motivating myself to get out and do more. Pray for me 😖🩷