Ascension

Oooof

I just played Ascension. I teasingly referred to it as Legacy of Kain-celvania

Good god. Its so bad. It sounds okay. Its the absolute definition of post hoc, half baked nonsense.

I want to see more LoK. I want to see good, interesting, writing with cunty soliloquy.

What we got was the stiffest controls, uninteresting walk to the right just to jingle “hey look” references to better aspects of better games.

The actors (who are still with us) have aged. Use that. Let our gal find Raziel at the end of some pinched off timeline, tired and hungry. Why make her a lost never mentioned sister? Its only more complicated explaining why she isnt there.

Gameplay is deeply boring. Like castlevania speeds with awkward jumps that never feel right and bad single swing combat that locks your feet down.

The char art is bad. Technically proficient but constantly undulating poorly written dialogue that misunderstood what made the old dialogue good. It was victorian gothic in name only here.

To say they phones it in suggests the benefit of technology. This one is still in the couriers bag of the pony express.

Just oof.

Could not finish. This was shameful and not an act of love at all. Someone barely fulfilled a contract.