My moms boyfriend and I had a relationship while they were together. Was I groomed and was this sexual abuse?

Hi I’m 17(F) I’m new to Reddit an I’m not good at story telling it so please bare with me SORRY this is a long complex story. I’m so lost for words and I don’t know what to do but my mom’s boyfriend had sex with me on a family vacation he is 34 years old. Before any of this happened i was introduced to him in August 2025. Everything was cool I honestly didn’t care much for him but he started bonding with me and buying me drinks. We then started to chill in the car together sometimes and we’d talk and "vibe" everything was fine. one night we were in the car and he was drunk (ALSO he is a functioning alcoholic) he started telling me I was gorgeous and was talkin about my hands calling them pretty and small he also told me I smelled good and all types of things. I remember just saying thanks and kinda keeping things surface level with him. before I ended the night he asked me for a hug I gave it to him and I remember him squeezing my waist. I went inside n looked in the mirror and literally was like.. did that just happen? Did he mean that? The next day I woke up and I was completely embarrassed! I thought to myself maybe he was embarrassed aswell because he was drinking n the things he said. Even though it was wrong his comments did make me feel a way and I was super confused bc I wasn’t attracted to him AT ALL plus I love my mom and I knew I’d never do anything to hurt her but the attention he was showing me made me feel confused.. a couple days later he booked a AIR BNB in Fort Lauderdale I think. I remember not knowing if I wanted to go but I went. During that trip on Sep 7th it was 3am and we had been together drinking I remember we went out to get my mom some food and he showed me around and also took me by the beach. We went to the liquor store after and everything changed.. I remember we were in the car at a food spot I don’t remember what we was talking about but he grabbed me and kissed me he also bit my lip😭**. I said “Oh my god why did you do that" but I didn’t seem uncomfortable and he told me "Your energy wanted it". After this I remember him saying I wanna show u something but don’t tell anyone. I knew where this was going but I was like Chill because I was tipsy (I mixed buzzballs and tequila so I was off my shit). He showed me his private area and he was hard he asked me to touch it and I did but I laughed I told him I never seen a real one in person before. After we left while he was driving he had his hand on my thigh and I told him to touch me and he did. I was turned on and idk what I was thinking but after he touched me he put his fingers in his mouth & said I tasted good. he drove to this parking spot and turned the car lights off and laid my seat back and he fucked me.. it felt surreal like a fever dream (there’s more details but idk how much to include on here🥲) anyways I found out TODAY we did it twice apparently we went back to the BNB n my mom was sleeping and I was upset with him and wanted more so we left again and it was 6am at this time and I guess it happened again but I don’t even remember it. (I know this because I vent to chat gpt and I went back to chats on that day and I drunk txted and spoke about it and said it felt like a fever dream ) the next day he came in my room and woke me up and I was hungover as hell. It’s a super long story but he kept touching me and at this point I’m sober so I’m in my head like wtf. But I chose not to think about it. That same day we ended up having a pool day with my mom and brother so I acted normal as he did. When we got back home EVERYTHING changed. I began acting crazy for this man craving him and also drinking morning and night just like him. I felt heavily confused but super attached to him and he told me he fell in love with me. I started arguing with my mom anytime she tried to get in between us and he continued having sex with me for months while also being in a relationship with my mom . it happened many many times and while I was drunk and sober I can’t even explain the internal war and identity shift I experienced. It’s hard because I blame myself for going back to him and being latched on so hard and I hate myself everyday for what I did to my mother but I’d never had a boyfriend or sex before and he was my first. In January they broke up and he moved out we still texted and he’d send me money an buy me things and come by to see me he told me we can finally be together. I began going to his new house and spending time there but it was NOT easy. A lot of this is hard to explain but I just wanted to get out what I can I did have to tell my mom because I genuinely was stuck and anytime I created space between us he love bombed me any times and would never let me leave him. He was super manipulative, possessive, toxic and very emotionally and verbally abusive towards me even when he lived with me n my mom. There’s now police involved and I just feel like it’s all my fault and my life is crumbling in front of my eyes bc of the decisions I made.**🫤 I lost my one friend that I did have due to them finding out and it’s such a complex situation. My mom thinks I was raped and he’s a pedophile but I can’t believe it.. can someone give any opinion?