Losing hope!

I have been married to my husband for 13 years and have two beautiful children. We got married young and had kids after completing our grad degrees. I mention this because unfortunately I am beginning to feel that our relationship started going downhill after having kids and arguments became bigger and lasted for longer stretches. He developed a weird addiction to an Ai generated fantasy world where he gets to be anything and everything he wants but fails to realize that he becomes an awful person everytime he restarts that habit. Yes he has tried to stop but an addiction doesn't go away very easily. Not without therapy and/or counseling, both of which I have suggested so many times that I have lost count. He is happier when I am not around. And he thinks its not necessary to check in on me or show any care or affection if I am not home and traveling because he "doesnt want to bother me." But he instead goes back to his AI world and spends hours there. If I ask him why he couldnt talk, or push him just a bit more than usual, he loses it, starts to yell and scream, hangs up on my, and blocks me everywhere. He wants to keep brushing things under the rug whereas I want us to grow and avoid things that led to an argument so I want to have just a normal talk about what went wrong and how can we improve. I am done with the disrespect, the gaslighting, and the lack of basic decency but I dont know why I am so hesitant to initiate a separation. I have proposed it before and he loses his mind and leaves the home but always comes back. I know he will not leave without legal action preventing him from returning but I dont want us to start separation with that mindset. Sorry for the long post and I appreciate anyone who reads this until the very end and can share some insight!