In 2024, I was ready to take my own life. I've been battling my mental state for so long now. And that time, I was ready. I sat on the kitchen floor. A chef's knife right next to me. I wasn't drunk. My headspace was clear. I wanted to go right then and there. I held the knife and placed the edge against my wrist. My head was clear. I wasn't thinking about anything. I was just looking forward to the silence. The quiet in the chaos. The peace in the war in my head. I was ready. I closed my eyes. Tears ran down my eyes. Then suddenly a loud noise outside. My dog, Chewie, barked behind the door. Did he know? How did he know? I opened the door and let him in, he rushed to me. I wept. I poured my heart out.

We went to the room. I cried and he was just there lying next to me. Did he understand what I was going through? How could he understand? He started distracting me by licking the tears off my face. Okay, he knew and he wasn't ready for me to go.

He fell asleep on my bed. I went back to the kitchen and saw the knife was still on the floor where I left it. I grabbed and put it in the sink. One more fight after another. Kaya ko pa 'to. I went back to bed and slept next to him. He saved me. He saved me from myself.

I couldn't forget that moment. I wouldn't be here if he didn't call me out. Now, my boy is fighting his own. He went through a surgery a week ago and was discharged after a few days. He was fine until yesterday. He started showing signs that his fight isn't over yet.

I am here with you boy, like you were there for me. I will go to the ends of the world to let you live. But my means to supporting you medically is running out. I hope you get better soon, my boy. I'll bring you back to the open sea when you get better.

If you're still reading, I need all the prayers for my dog. He did so much for me to deserve this. There's still more to life he has to see. Thank you for your kindness.

How my boy saved me from myself