He feels like I am attacking him and now my feelings feel unsafe

Hi all. my marriage feels very unsafe for me currently and I dont know how to navigate that. every time I try to talk to my husband about the actions hes done to hurt me, he gets really defensive and turns into the victim. I always end up trying to talk him down off of that ledge and my feelings never feel like they get resolved. he claims that he walks on eggshells for my emotions so I dont get upset or cry and somehow that feels like my fault, that I shouldn't have emotions. when I do have emotions it still feels like he turns it around on me being the problem. I dont yell at him and I always use a very even tone even when I am crying because I know it doesnt do any good to yell at him. no matter what way I try to explain that he has hurt me and that he has to take accountability, he starts a spiral about how I make him feel like a POS. Last night it sounded like he didnt know why we were still together because I was asking too much from him. I am in counseling for C-PTSD and I had to just gone through an emotional flashback that I was trying to explain to him was from him yelling at me for not answering my phone, which he claims he didnt yell. I told him when we got together that yelling at me can cause me to shut down. all I have asked from him since starting this round of counseling is support, dont yell at me which would hinder my eventual progress, and to sit with me when I am stuck. I have asked him to see a counselor or at the very least do couples counseling since we clearly aren't communicating well but he takes that as me attacking him again. any advice, thoughts, or concerns are welcome.