should i buy a house with my mom or let her move away with my siblings?

there’s so much info to include that it’s hard to make it all sound cohesive so i apologize if this doesn’t make sense. i’ll try to simplify things!!

my mom and stepdad are divorced but living together because she travels for work and still needs help raising my brother (13) and sister (16). as the years have gone on, he’s become a worse father and an even worse husband. my mom was planning on moving out, but he intentionally got her into debt and is draining her savings. if she quits her travel job, she takes a serious pay cut and will have to rearrange her entire life to make it work, potentially even needing to move the whole family back in with my grandparents in another state.

she worked out an agreement with me. she refuses to leave the state without me with her. we’re a very close family, but i’m married now. she wants to finance a house together. we will all live together (me, husband, mom, brother, sister) until my brother and sister finish school. this allows my mom to keep her travel job, pay on the house for a few years, and pay down her debts while i take care of the kids. my husband and i are okay with this, however, my MIL has doubts on the financials are.

my mom wants to use fthb for financing, have seller pay closing costs. i’m picking out the house. there are no good houses (close to school so we don’t have to switch schools, in safe location, don’t need work) in our price range in our city. we cannot afford any significant repairs after closing. all of the houses in the area are at the top of our price range but have downsides. if we move to a city an hour away, the houses are cheaper, but it’s in the middle of nowhere and will be hard for my husband to commute to work and school. if we stay in our current city, my husband and i will be stuck with a house we don’t want to live in after they leave. if my mom gets an apartment or trailer instead, it’s the same price as buying a house AND she will have to leave her job. if she moves back to our grandparents, she will have to leave her job and have to worry about my abusive biological father harassing her. none of these options feel right and i feel stuck in the middle of what to do.

to recap:

what’s the best option with the least downsides?

- mom moves home but loses job and worries about other ex harassing her

- mom moves into apartment but loses job and pays the same monthly payment as a house

- we buy a cheaper house an hour away but it’ll make my husbands life more difficult and be in the middle of nowhere

- we buy a more expensive house in our current city but my husband and i can’t find a good house we all like

my mom needs help with childcare. stepdad adopted them but is moving to a different state so he can’t help. my husband and i don’t mind helping with my siblings or living with my family!!!! the house would become mine and my husbands first house after my siblings graduate. moms job pay cut would be severe (makes almost 100k including bonuses, but would go down to about $24/hr…) i’m just stuck on what to do. i want to help my family, but i don’t want to drown financially in the process while my husband and i are trying to make ends meet in college.