I feel like a creep

there's this girl, she has a round face and dark blond curly hair and red spots (that I assume are acne scars) on her face. I think she has blue eyes also. she dresses in vintage clothing and men's clothes, wears a bandana, and i remember i once saw her wearing the same shirt I also owned, on the same day I was wearing mine. If you're wondering how I know all this, I've been seeing her for 5 years, so… still, I think I'm a bit of a creep

I never gave a name to this. but I think it's a crush. I don't know her name, I always see her walking the opposite way when I get picked up from school or I see her at the bus stop taking the bus before me. once I look at her once and I confirm her existence I'm mildly happy for the day. I'm not interested in getting to know her, and I don't really want anything from her. but the fact that she exists makes me happy. I don't know how to describe it. In the past I imagined us having a picnic or going on a double bike, but that's about it. I don't have sexual thoughts about girls and she's not an exception. but the fact that I know so much stuff about her without even knowing her makes me feel like such a creep or a stalker