I feel like I'm doomed

I'm in my early twenties and have recenty started to reflect on my childhood. I was s*xually ab*sed by my biological father when I was very young, around the ages of 3 - 5. I've always felt this emptiness and impending doom ever since then. It's a type of loneliness that only few understand. I look at photos from back when it was happening and I can just see how hollow and empty my eyes looked. As a child I barely even understood what was happening to me, all I knew is that my father was evil and untrustworthy. I felt so incredibly ashamed of myself and still do to this day. I feel ashamed when another guy says he finds me attractive, and I just want to cry. I feel so deeply ashamed when I think of anyone wanting to be intimite with me. It feels like someone wanting to take a part out of me only to leave me behind all hollowed out and empty. I have no interest in romantic relationships, marriage, having kids or anything like that I have no wants or needs or desires I just want the world to leave me alone. It all feels pointless and like an attempt to humiliate me even further. This sounds bad, but I don't even care about being a good person or having "good morals" because why should I care if I was betrayed this badly by someone I was suppose to trust and look up to. Parents are suppose to teach you right from wrong, but what do you do when they hurt you this badly with no remorse or consequences. I don't care for others because apparently nobody cared enough about me to stop the abuse.