Why does it feel like a moral failure for so many women to put themselves first?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I’ve lived it.

We’re taught that our "nurturing" nature is a gift, but for a lot of us, it’s actually just a high-functioning survival mid.

We aren't being "kind"—we’re terrified of the conflict or the guilt that comes the second we stop being useful to everyone else.

It’s reached a point where "putting myself first" doesn't even feel like a choice; it feels like an emergency I’m not allowed to handle.

You spend all day scanning the room to make sure everyone else is okay, and by the time you get to your own needs, you’re too exhausted to even know what they are.

Is it just the fear of being seen as "selfish," or have we just been conditioned to believe our only value is how much we can carry for others?

it's tiring of the burnout that comes from this while it's secretly drowning.