reality (F26 & M25) is hitting me and i’m terrified.

I (F26) reconnected with him (M25) a while ago and we really like each other. We have been dating for 6 months now. We met 4 years ago and went on a few dates, and reconnected last year. When we reconnected I found out he moved back home and it seemed as if he would eventually return to the same area as me this year, which made everything feel more natural and hopeful. But it’s becoming increasingly clear that he’s not coming back, and that’s making me feel really unsure about this whole thing. Not about him, but about us..

We’re planning a first meetup in a couple of months, but with a 13-hour time difference and being on opposite sides of the world, there’s no way to easily see each other and ofcourse we’d have to plan an entire trip around it. That adds a lot of pressure. I’m willing to and we are both committed though.

Communication and effort wise everything is amazing on both ends. We both feel rlly seen, loved and present. But, I’m worried about the emotional weight of us and the meet up. How will this impact my life or his if we decide to pursue the relationship after the meetup?

I’ve thought about telling him that my initial impression has changed now that I know he’s not coming back, but I’m not sure if I should. I know it sounds awful but I think if I would have known in the beginning, I wouldn’t have pursued this. But at this point the feelings are so strong that I really don’t want to lose him. I just notice it’s getting more difficult as i’m falling for him more everyday, to backtrack. I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to handle the uncertainty and emotional stakes of this first LDR meetup.

Has anyone else gone through a first LDR meeting while also realizing the other person isn’t moving closer? How did you navigate the pressure and uncertainty? I’m not rlly sure what answers i’m exactly looking for but I guess i just need some reflection on my situation.