How do you know you don’t want kids or you don’t want them with your husband?

It makes me cry to even type this but I am so relieved to have found this sub.

One by one my friends are getting pregnant and I don’t like to hang out with people as much anymore because kids become the topic and it gives me sheer panic.

I’m 33. My husband is great. I’ve known him for 20 years. Together six, married two. He comes from a great family, treats me well, and is a good person.

We rarely have sex and I haven’t felt true chemistry with him in a couple of years. I know he would be a good day but I feel like I don’t like who I am with him and I don’t feel a spark. I worry so much that having kids together would make me incredibly unhappy.

I feel like the real decision in facing is staying with my husband and committing to not having kids or divorcing and being with someone where having kids with them doesn’t terrify me.

This has put me in such a dark place.