a friendly (and careful) reminder

This is a space where people open themselves up and share intimate parts of themselves. Often, both literally and figuratively. And sometimes connections happen. Sometimes they can change, and a sudden wind of life can make it disappear. It's part of life. But please find common decency in yourself to remember there's a person on the other side of the screen, and say bye in a respectful way.

I've had an experience here recently which made me create this post. I happened to start talking to a guy on here (which is a very rare occurrence for me). We had a good connection, which was focused on getting to know each other personally (which I welcomed) and I felt comfortable enough to eventually share private information about myself, including my face (he now claims he never saw it 🤦🏻‍♀️). Then all of a sudden after a few weeks (~a month? 🤔) he deleted all our chats and my contact (we talked on a separate platform) and vanished into the sunset. Yeah, yeah, classic ghosting from a guy. Happens to everyone. But I, being a person who always tries my best to be considerate, tried to ask if something was wrong (he shared before that things weren't great in his personal life) and if he was alright, as I was a bit worried. He then reappeared in a few weeks, claiming he had started a relationship. Which is... absolutely normal.

But why couldn't he behave like an adult and tell me the truth is beyond me as are many other things, like him reappearing in my DMs for whatever reasons today with some weird vague message, still ignoring what I said before. And then, after sending me a weird ass laughing gif in reply to my confused reaction of "would be cooler if you owned up and apologised") he claimed I'm creating drama. Said by a man who appeared in my DMs months after being a coward.

I will not tolerate gaslighting me and making me look stupid in the situation that person created in the first place. He then continued claiming he didn't recall me showing my face - he actually had asked for it himself, which I do remember well (I happen to have great memory, I speak 3 languages lol). I'm honestly thinking of closing my DMs for good (leaving only those people who I have been talking to regularly and who I know I can trust). I do not know why some think talking to someone online means they aren't alive, breathing and that they happen to have emotions, too. I'm not just a pretty picture to look at and enjoy, or a chat that can be deleted. It's sad some men don't treat women on here like people, and can't even own up to their behaviour. He could have resolved this very quickly, yet he decided to come off as an even bigger douchebag in the end.

I'm writing all this here not to create any negativity towards that person. I just want to ask for some very basic understanding and respect. I've seen much, much nastier behaviour from men both online and offline, but somehow this, a smaller one in that sense, managed to tug at my heartstrings. And I know why. Feeling like an ephemeral chat or a picture that can be deleted and forgotten about instead of being simply respected as a person is not cool.

Thank you for reading, as I know there are many lovely people here following me. Felt like it's important to say. Got tired of this sh!t, friends. x

P