A Tumblr post with the posters name censored that says "' Your poor mother gave birth to you, brought you into this world - and you won't even give her grand children. Can't you see how that's awful of you?' When my mum made the conscious choice to cancel her prescription and have children, I doubt her motivation was, 'I shall be kind and neighborly to someone who doesn't yet exist by bringing them into existence, it's the decent thing to do.' To suggest so is nonsense. She did it because she wanted a baby. 'I want a baby' she thought -or some variant of it- and she imagined herself there, with a baby of her own, enjoying all the benefits she thought 'ownership' of a baby would bring to her life and that's fine. This situation isn't a case of, 'your mother was kind to you by giving you life. Now you should be kind in return.' My creation was a case of my mum fulfilling a desire she had. (Which again is fine). But simply put, it was nothing to do with me, guv. After all it wasn't even specifically me that my mum wanted. She wanted a baby, any baby, like I might want a new box set or a house by the sea or a new pair of sneakers. My mother didn't reproduce out of some public duty to those who don't exist yet. Nobody does that. People have kids because they have that image in their minds - a vision of themselves holding a baby - any baby, so long as it's theirs - and they like that image enough to push towards making it a reality. Which again is fine. It only stops being fine when we obstinately deny that parenthood is desire fulfillment, suggest that it is instead some sort of selfless public duty to the unborn, then use that moral high horse to herd people into life paths they know aren't right for them.

Relationships aren't gifts. Parents "gift" their children shelter in the same way building a house is "gifting" it bricks.