Regretting my abortion - anyone else?

I’m day 5 post d&e and I don’t know if it’s the hormones plummeting down but I am really regretting it and all I can think about is TTC.

Backstory here is I am a mum of 2 and I’m maternal. But I have bad PTSD/depression/anxiety and literally didn’t feel connected to my pregnancy at all. I knew for the sake of my two children I couldn’t have a 3rd, also for financial etc reasons. I struggled to make the decision but had to put my MH and family first. However I can’t stop crying about it and now I just want to TTC again? I’m not going to ofc, I am taking the pill and seeking some therapy for now but I’m scared for my future. What if I do want to TTC again and I don’t fall pregnant? Will I be punished for my abortion? I seriously hate myself for what I’ve done! Did anyone else have these thoughts?

Is there anything post d&e I should do to preserve my fertility or help put nutrients back into my body? I’m 33 so not young but not too old.