An argument against honor names for deceased family

Hey name nerds! I often see threads in here about baby names honoring deceased friends or family and wanted to chime in with my own experience.

In this example I'm talking about a family member who died young, with living immediate family (so different I think from naming after, for example, a grandparent who may not have any living immediate family of their own left).

My uncle named his daughter after his sister (my aunt) who sadly passed when they were adults (in their 20s), just a couple years before I was born - my cousin was born a couple years after that and given her aunt's name.

To be real:

*I'm 45 now and I don't think I've ever once thought about my cousin without thinking about my deceased aunt, and my dad recently confessed to me that although he would never speak a word to his brother, he has found it very painful having that name constantly in his life reminding him of his sister who died.*

Worse, my grandfather is declining and in the early stages of dementia, and in a recent visit when we said Michelle was coming over he seemed confused, then when Michelle arrived he yelled at her, at everyone, saying "Who are you, you're not Michelle, who are you. Michelle is dead, Michelle is dead!"

I can't even express how devastating it is for my grandparents, who lost their daughter, going through this, especially as my grandfather is having more episodes like this of not recognizing people outside of his routine.

Although my uncle had the "blessing" of the rest of the family at the time, the shadow that name casts never really truly goes away. I'm sure it may have affected my parents' and grandparents' ability to have a strong relationship with my cousin, who is an amazing woman who doesn't deserve to be saddled with such a painful association.

Just wanted to share this perspective as a family member decades after the fact, seeing how it has affected the lives of the people who knew her over the years.