No one told me this would be both easy and hard

I have been a daily smoker for 8 years since cannabis was legalized for recreational use in Canada. I had been a heavy smoker in the 90s and then quit after getting frustrated by difficulties finding a dealer who was consistently available. I hated having to spend time calling around to find someone who had anything in addition to calls to friends looking for a connection through them. I would still smoke a joint with friends at parties but stopped buying weed for almost 20 years. Legalization made access easy and although I never went back to smoking all day every day I reestablished a nightly routine.

This past month I experienced a pretty serious mental crisis and one of the things they talked to me about when I was on a ward getting help was that daily smoking was probably contributing to my general dull feelings and it was likely interacting negatively with my medications.

3 weeks ago I "stopped smoking". I've let myself smoke twice since then thinking I could get away with having a little now and then but because of the idea that it could be affecting how well my medications work it's been 2 weeks since the last time.

It hasn't been hard. it's been weird going to sleep at night not feeling a little high but I've gotten over it. I thought I needed it to help me get to sleep and to help with feelings of depression and anxiety (I'm lucky that I don't get paranoid I guess) but it turns out I get to sleep just fine because of the meds I take for insomnia.

What I'm struggling with is that I believe that I can still have a little now and then without slipping back into a daily habit but I'm not sure if I should continue to be "sober" just in case I'm wrong.

I also quit drinking but that won't be a problem until summer and I'm faced with the idea that I shouldn't have a cold beer on a hot day. That's a whole other issue.

I guess I want to know if I can quit smoking for mental and physical health reasons but still enjoy the odd puff for pure enjoyment.

My heart says I should just be a nonsmoker but my head says I'm more in control than I give myself credit for.

What would you do?