I don’t want to be here

I can’t write this properly I’m so tired.

I have been dealing with sleep apnea from very bad orthodontics at 15

It wrecked my life, I couldn’t get out of bed

I lost my job

All my friends, my entire self identify 7 years

When I found out it was sleep apnea it was not helped with cpap I tired absolutely everything for 2 years

I got jaw surgery last year and it fixed everything the heart palpitations, brain fog , exhaustion

They did surgery first method because my case was so bad,

Unfortunately tho ortho afterwards fucked my entire surgery and left strong rubber bands on the wrong place post my surgery and literally pulled my jaws into an underbite.

My sleep apnea relapsed and 3 months and my entire face collapsed

I’ve had to deal with looking unrecognisable for the past year

I book in for a revision and express how important it is to cure my sleep apnea

They just revise my low jaw saying that’s all I need,

Guess what!!!! It hasn’t worked

My parents have literally spent almost 70k

I am choking on my tongue

I feel so psychologically damaged and just left my boyfriend because we couldn’t function with my disability.

I honestly feel like I have to hold myself back right now from jumping out the window of my flat.

I’m writing this to stop myself

I just cannot do this

I cannot pay for a proper revision I am 25 and lost my entire youth to this

I don’t want to live anymore