insecurity about looks

ts is LOWKEY just a rant

I am 17F, and i have been pretty insecure about my looks as far as i can remember. It was at its worst when i was 12 i think? there was a time where i couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. It got better, its better than that now but till date i do not know wether or not people think im ugly or pretty, and my default is assuming the latter unfortunately.

I don't know how to explain it, like people in my life tell me that no youre pretty but i feel like they say it from a place of obligation. I wish i could just ask a random person on the street straight up and get an honest answer but no one will tell you the truth to your face, especially if youre not pretty. I just want answer lowkey at this point idec what it is.