A trip report for an experience with aldohexose at the Philadelphia Museum of Art during Easter
I saw a post recently about taking psychedelics at the art museum and figured I would relate an experience I had there with an entirely different substance.
This one is deeply normalized of course, and people do certainly have their share of personal bad stories with this substance. It is entirely different when taken responsibly, in a controlled manner. I do not recommend doing this though.
This report is actually part of a set of 3, the others are in 2 different settings, along with a long introduction on this specific compound about its history and stigma and my personal relationship to it.
If you are having a visceral aversive reaction to the mention of this substance, I humbly ask to at least read that introduction to it.
Anyways,
This is an experience I had planned for a while. What kind of setting would be a good foil for the deranged intensity of Easter candy consumption? Sticky and saccharine. I needed something clean and cerebral, and the art museum fit the bill perfectly.
Many may be familiar with the “Dessert Dose” coined by absolutely no one, who published a collection of experiences with taking low dose candy for various artistic spaces. Well, this is admittedly much higher than any dessert dose by his standards. This was an insane amount of sugar to take in public frankly, that is a reckless thing to do that I very strongly say others should not do. But I wanted to experience the interaction between this sugar and this space, this art, to its maximum. My schedule was very full and I only had one shot at this. I was really curious about how this would handle in public, especially such a tense and quiet and slow space. I was excited to see how the cognitive effects of 14 marshmallow Peeps, two hollow chocolate bunnies, and six Cadbury Creme Eggs interacted with a wide variety of art.
NOTE: THE AMOUNTS I CONSUME ARE EXTREMELY HIGH FOR ANYONE. I HAVE A HIGH TOLERANCE TO EASTER CANDY, NECESSITATING I TAKE SUCH HIGH DOSES. AN EXPERIENCE LIKE THIS WOULD BE FOUND AT AROUND 2-3 PEEPS FOR THE AVERAGE PERSON. DO NOT TAKE THE DOSES I TAKE IN THESE REPORTS.
CW: Mild tummy ache
Age: 30 Weight: 130 lbs Dosage: 14 Peeps (yellow), 2 chocolate bunnies (one tragically decapitated), 6 Cadbury Creme Eggs Setting: Philadelphia Museum of Art, My house
T0:00 – Opened the Peeps. Immediate sugary aroma. Texture unsettling. I consume 6 rapidly. I feel nothing. I consume 8 more out of spite.
T0:10 – Chocolate bunny #1. The ears go first. Always the ears. Hollow. Deceptive. I feel powerful.
T0:20 – Creme Eggs. The fondant interior is aggressively sweet. I am committed now.
T0:30 – Leave my house. Slight buzzing sensation. My fingers feel… sticky? My thoughts are accelerating. I am aware I have made a mistake but cannot stop.
T0:40 – Waiting for the subway. The station smells like damp concrete and destiny. My heart rate is elevated. The fluorescent lights seem… judgmental.
T0:50 – Walking toward the museum. I feel a strange propulsion. Not mania—more like a child who was told “no more candy” and said “watch me.”
My gait is uneven. Not from intoxication, but from the internal vibration of 200 grams of sugar attempting diplomacy with my bloodstream.
T1:20 – Arrive at the museum. The steps loom before me. I ascend with unnatural speed. I am unstoppable. I am glucose incarnate.
I sit outside briefly. The sky is vivid. Everything sparkles slightly. This may be placebo. This may be frosting.
T1:30 – Enter the museum. I am warm. Very warm. I feel like a microwaved marshmallow.
Voices echo. The space is cavernous. I am acutely aware that I have eaten an amount of candy typically reserved for multiple households.
T1:40 – First gallery. I feel like a caged animal. Not from dissociation—but from the primal urge to run laps.
I stand before a painting. I try to focus. I cannot. My brain is generating ideas at a catastrophic rate.
“What if I start painting again?” “What if I start five businesses?” “What if I become the Peeps guy?”
I breathe. I ground myself. No one here knows I am on a catastrophic sugar high.
T2:20 – I am navigating confidently. Too confidently.
Every painting feels significant. Every brushstroke is important. I am deeply moved by colors that I would normally consider “fine.”
I sit down. I feel the energy surge. It is not spiritual. It is corn syrup.
T2:35 – I am no longer looking at the art. I am constructing elaborate life plans.
“I will wake up at 5am every day.” “I will reinvent myself.” “I will never eat sugar again.”
The irony is not lost on me, but it is ignored.
T3:00 – The crash begins.
I am thirsty. Desperately thirsty. I attempt to find water. I walk in loops. I question my decisions. I briefly consider lying down on a bench and becoming part of the exhibit.
T3:23 – Confidence gone. I am now hyper-aware of my body.
My heart is doing something. Not dangerous—just… enthusiastic.
I feel like everyone can tell. They cannot. No one cares. Everyone is here for the art. I am here because I ate 6 Creme Eggs in 20 minutes.
T3:45 – Exhaustion sets in. The sugar empire collapses.
I am tired. I am anxious. I am slightly nauseous. I want to go home.
T4:00 – Retrieve my coat. The interaction is normal. I am a normal person who has made abnormal choices.
T4:30 – Subway ride home. I stare at my phone. Everything feels extremely important. It is not.
T5:00 – Home. Residual jitteriness. A deep emotional understanding that I should not have done that.
T6:00 – Shower. Feels incredible. I briefly consider that I may dissolve like sugar in warm water.
T6:30 – Attempt to eat dinner. Impossible. My body rejects the concept of additional intake.
T7:00 – Lingering stimulation. Thoughts still racing. Mostly about hydration and regret.
T8:00 – Baseline returns. I am human again.
T14:00 – Attempt sleep. My brain replays every decision that led to consuming 14 Peeps.
Sleep eventually comes.
Conclusion:
Wow. Wow is all I can say.
Sugar fills me with a profound sense of possibility, followed immediately by consequences. What better place to explore beauty and wonder than a world class art museum? Unfortunately, I found myself unable to connect meaningfully with the art, as my internal experience was dominated by oscillations between euphoria and collapse.
I would not recommend this. A “dessert dose” may have merit, but what I engaged in was something else entirely.
Nevertheless, I hope this report demonstrates that a person can be on a catastrophic Easter candy sugar high in a formal public setting and not cause a scene.
But they will think about it later.
Posted Apr 5, 2026, 2:42 AM UTC