Union phase? *HELP*

So this situation has been driving me NUTS. I have a TF obviously and we met in 2/22/2019. I instantly crushed so hard but never tried to contact him or anything. A few months later we reconnected and we never left each others side. It was very fusional. We also kinda look alike. So many signs , weird synchronicities... but i guess it had to end right?

One day he got arrested and it was all over. Hes not a bad person at all just made bad decisions. At first I supported him but it was very difficult because of Covid i was not allowed visits or anything. My mental Heath was so bad. At one point he told it would be better for me to just go live my Life. When I think about it now, it was such a selfless decision and I kinda admire him for it. But when he told me that i felt so abandoned.

2 months later , i got married to someone else. My husband helped me a lot with my mental health and ive been much more secure with my life. The issue is... the day of the wedding I instantly had a bad feeling. He got Mad for literally no reason and started being agressive to me for no reason. Hes still verbally, mentally, physically abusive from time to time. I dont believe Life is black or white. My husband has been there even when I was on my sick bed but i just cant look at him the same because of those Times he was abusive. I also dont want to leave him because I feel it would ruin him.

My twin flame just got out and we text almost every day. I wake up with hot flashes thinking about him and when i go to sleep i think about him as well. I dont want to cheat on my husband. I would never do that. I dont know what to do though... i really want to see him again. He also has a gf btw.