I only like girls sexually if there's a connection?

Bruh so get this. Been going by "gay" for a few years now because it's easier to explain, but lately my mind has been thinking about women lately. I can't get it up with women in most porn, but I don't have that same problem with men. That then evolved to me just admitting that I like men—but not just ordinary men, femboys and cuntboys do the trick too. In theory I like everything there is about women but reality doesn't reflect that. Only consistent times I've been sexually attracted to women are when I was in love with them.

Is it possible that I'm only consistently attracted to women sexually when there's a connection?