Was anyone else uber PIMI durig the Russia letter-writing campaign, yet feel completely disconnected from it all?

I was at the height of my pioneering years and a slave to the hall. Yet for some reason I felt completely disconnected during this campaign. For context, I was always engaged for spiritual talk during service or in groups yet when this event happened, I felt it didn't make sense, I couldn't connect to it all or even feel what they were going through over there. The dramatic videos with the sad music over them made it even worse, I felt like I was watching a bad episode of Rosa de Guadalupe (Spanish soap opera). When I tell you I was UBER PIMI I mean UBER PIMI, like deep into the study and everything.

The announcement of Russia being king of the North was the last straw that broke the camels back. I was like , how in the world can we make these claims? how can I go to work and school and talk to other people about this, they're just going to laugh

I felt helpless, but not in a I want to help type of way, but more like this is stupid kinda way. This was especially true when I saw stacks and stacks of letters returned to the hall and not delivered.

I used to work at the counter and when the elder told me "nothing we can do" I think I went aside and laughed like a maniac for a few minutes. Like all this work and effort going towards what exactly?