Wanting to get off meds especially antipsychotics

I’m 22 trans mtf. I’ve been diagnosed with all sorts of stuff before including autism, adhd, ocd, cptsd, borderline personality disorder, bipolar etc. I know I definitely fit in the autism/adhd umbrella and have a lot of trauma which led to a lot of the patterns that have been labeled as borderline personality disorder. I keep going back and forth between accepting these labels and telling myself I’m just neurodivergent and traumatized. Going through my inner wounds and learning my patterns as well as learning DBT has helped a lot.

I’ve been recently diagnosed with bipolar and the bipolar subreddit is scaring me so much about how if I’m not medicated to the point I have zero problems, I’m gonna get brain damage for life. Lately, I feel like I’m just getting stupider and stupider but it’s probably because of my meds?

I’m currently on adderall xr 20mg, lamictal 200mg, and seroquel 25mg. The seroquel helps me sleep but I don’t wanna be stuck on all these meds or long term damage. The adderall “helps” me focus and be productive but also gives me side effects I don’t like. I think the lamictal which I’ve been on for a few years helps keep my mood stable because that’s my biggest problem of super intense mood swings all over the place. I also can take other stuff like ambien or hydroxyzine that I have for sleep but I just really wanna not have to take all this.

I’ve been really unstable lately but wanna avoid increasing my meds at the very least. I think for now I might try just dropping the adderall and seroquel then switching to hydroxyzine for sleep? I just don’t wanna fuck up my health and stop pathologizing every fucking feeling I have cause I obsess over tracking my symptoms and whether I’m “manic” or “depressed” so often