How do you deal with the desire to lash out out of pain or grief when you have no energy for it?

I'm not sure how appropriate the flair is because I'm not sure how much it falls under this category or if there should be a content warning or if "need support" would be more appropriate, but because I chose this I'll make sure to avoid those specific details. And I apologize for the long-winded setup to my question as well.

I do not want to talk about what happened or ask how to deal with the source, I'm just wondering if anyone has advice on dealing with the feeling.

I am feeling extremely upset right now. I do not feel angry, and if I do then only at myself. But that's not the main reason for this. I feel an overwhelming sadness, and I'm in a lot of emotional pain right now, and it's making me want to lash out with force in literally any way possible. There are just a few problems.

I have enough self-awareness to not do anything stupid, to not want to lash out in a way that would bring actual lasting in ANY way harm to a person including myself. I'm too afraid of it anyway.

I want to tear up a diary, I want to punch my pillow or wall or desk, I want to shatter plates, literally just anything. I want to scream as loudly as I possibly can even if it hurts my throat. I want to jump and run and throw a tantrum. Literally just anything at ALL to let that pain out.

The problems with this are as follows...

Despite my desire to physically expel this feeling in some way, I also feel an extreme lack of energy. I feel very tired. Exhausted even. And then the other problem is that I live in an apartment, and it is 5AM right now. So I can't make a ruckus or be too loud so I do not wake up my family or my neighbors.

I would take anything but the pain. I would rather just feel completely numb.

Has anyone else felt the desire to physically expel the emotions but with the inability to do so because of having no actual energy to do so? It's a very uncomfortable dissonance between body and mind.. How do you deal with it?

Truthfully, typing this out helped me for a moment, but I know that as soon as I put down the writing those feelings will immediately come back. In situations like this journaling only ever helps me in the very moment I'm writing.