I had a dream where I told my sister I was raped at a young age.

This dream was weird. I (20f)have never had a dream like this. I was in the middle of telling my sister something in my dream when the conversation changed. I don’t remember what the conversation originally was about but at some point, I went from talking to like venting.

While I was in the dream I said something along the lines of I found out I was raped from one of my sister’s journals. I gave a name of who did it and the about age I was when it happened . I was around two or three supposedly.

Some important detail about this is a lot of my sisters and myself have journals. We all are an artist family. I write poetry and so does my sibling. I also don’t remember most of my childhood. The oldest memories that are really prominent are about 10 years old and I’ve always found that strange.

My dreamself said I was looking for one of my journals and came across my older sisters instead. I said I was looking through it when I see my name written down. That’s when I read that this happened.

When I told my sister in the dream, she looked dumb founded and shocked. She just got sat there for like a minute, not saying anything. Her mouth was open and her eyes are wide, but the thing that stuck out to me wasn’t my sister‘s reaction. It was the fact that in the dream , my mom comes running from around the corner. I assumed that she had heard me say this.

It was like as soon as she saw me she started sobbing . It was so real to me. She started to come up to hug me but before she could reach me, I woke up. I woke up with this ache in my chest. I had a single tear run down my face, which scared the fuck out of me. I have never had a dream like that where I woke up crying.

I sat there awake for like 20 minutes, confused and just started sobbing because of life I knew before this seemed different now. I have always been a hyper sexual child and was a pretty fast kid so it kind of makes sense but how can my body remember but my brain doesn’t?

I don’t know what to do. I know I need to have a conversation with my mom, but I’m scared. What do I do? If this is real, how do I come to terms with the fact that I might be a victim of such a heinous crime ? And then it makes you think that if it is true why did no one tell me?

I’ve decided to call off from work and wait to have a conversation with my mom. it is currently 5:26 in the morning as I write this so she’s asleep. I’m too scared to go back to sleep giving what I just dreamed about so I will be up and thinking of how to have this conversation.