I got really mad in therapy last week and Im dreading my next session because of it.

last week we were just talking about whatever, I don't even really remember much as I wasn't really listening. which I know is already quite bad but we had a bad rupture over my SI and confidentiality and ethics and shit got messy and ended up hurting alot more than it should've. so I'm still quite upset over that. and since then I've lost alot of interest in therapy. I just kinda stopped caring, because I cared so much. Wasn't listened to, and it hurt like a bitch. so why care anymore?

i talked about it a month or 2 ago, and it just didn't really do much. I found no difference and I didn't properly talk about it. i just didn't feel like being honest anymore so I just stopped.

Anyways I just got fed up with these "useless" conversations we kept having and leaving me worse off during the week than when I showed up. She started to catch on and said "You don't wanna talk about this do you?"

Then it just spiraled out of control. I just started getting even more angry, and since her responses I found were quite predictable (not necessarily bad. but predictable) it just made me been more angry that I knew what she was gonna say before she even said it. We ended session very shortly after. like maybe 5-10 minutes after it started. because she thoughts the more she said the more agitated I was getting. which was true.

Overall, I'm still mad. even a week later. and I don't really wanna go to my session (I can't tell if it's just dread/anxiety or if I truly don't wanna go) and I can't cancel. the 48 hour cancel policy is already passed so I have to. I don't really know what I'm hoping to get out of posting but I guess any perspectives or if anyone can relate to this? it's just a shitty situation and idk what to do to help fix it.