I miss my comfort ...

I miss my comfort .. I miss your smell I miss our nights and I miss your voice.... day after day I just lay here and dread the days to come without you always here at night I have no idea how to keep moving forward with someone that doesn't fit me like you do ... I worry that I'll get stuck here forever waiting for you ... you'll never come, you never did. always casted me away and made me feel like an imposter... I am so fucked up about it all that I force myself to distance from the thoughts of you... you tore me down and never built me up... you tore me down so often that I fucking gave up I really just left ... I didn't want to leave ... you crossed me so badly ... every single time ... I never punished you like that and I never would've either .. when I think about all the defeat I faced in the wake of loving someone who never loved me it makes me sick. I try to connect with someone else but am left empty every night. thanks for giving me so many lingering wants and needs and talking to me like that for no reason in the end. I wish it'd stop ..