AITAH for being mad at my mother for driving 3 hours to surprise me on my birthday?

For context, I (21F) live with my boyfriend (21M), about 3 hours from our hometowns. Normally my family plans something for my birthday, but this year I couldn’t go back because of school and work. I told my mom about two weeks in advance that I’d just spend the day with my boyfriend.

On my birthday, after my morning classes, we were about to leave for a romantic picnic he planned. But then there’s a knock at the door, and it’s my entire family. They had driven 3 hours to surprise me, completely 100% unannounced.

My mom suggested going out to a restaurant and said I could say no since this whole thing wasn’t planned. But realistically I couldn’t, I mean everyone had come all that way (6 hour drive if you count the drive back), including my 75-year-old grandma. So we went, and it took up the entire day.

Later in private, I told my mom I appreciated the effort but didn’t like that they showed up without checking in with me first. I understand her not contacting me directly as it was a surprise, but she didn’t even contact my boyfriend, who had a whole day planned for us (romantic picnic/spa/romantic dinner) which we had to miss because of this. What was especially disappointing, is my mother knew I had plans with my boyfriend, and just showed up without calling anyways.

I know I must sound so selfish, but I was really bummed out when they showed up. I had this whole day planned and I guess I feel like they hijacked everything and I felt a bit trapped ? Like I couldn’t say no without feeling extreme guilt. At the end of the day, I told my mom thank you, but that she should call next time. And the response I got from her was “I can’t believe I raised such a selfish egotistical child” and “I’m sorry you have a family that loves you”…etc. And the whole thing basically blew up in a huge fight.

My siblings (who were not present as they live too far away) are on my side, but I can’t help but feel bad about this. AITAH?