I'm truly unsure what to name this, I am just generally unhappy

So I suppose I should begin with the fact I get extremely jealous easily, due to previous relationships, specifically in which I had been cheated on and replaced many times by different people. However that is not the main topic.

I just wish to be somebody's one and only thing they care about, but someone such as me is unable to have such an incredible thing, not because I don't desrrve it, but because I've been lead to believe loyalty in love doesn't exist anymore, it is likely wrong, but it's easier to think about it as a lost cause rather than letting myself be walked and trampled upon only to give up my body for others.

Another thing, I wish people didn't value only beauty in physical aspects, I'm overlooked because I don't post revealing images of myself online, or anywhere really, but that makes me unseen, insecure, anxious, dreading the fact most people I tend to meet would want to do things I consider wrong. I wish to bee seen, praised, taken care of for once, allow me to segway into my next and final topic.

Finally the part that eats away at me the most; I have an intense need to be talked with, not to, but with since there's a difference. Anyways, because of that, plus my desire to finally know what praise and being held feels like, people care even less for me. I'm pretty sure it's because the only thing I am to them is a therapist, nothing more than a mere sponge to soak up their issues, only for me to become more and more for lack of a better term, unstable in a way.

Sorry for the LONG rant, I probably mispelled some things, and sorry for the immense amount of "more proper English" I just wanted to make it coherent without it trailing off into some other rant as per my normal. But thank you for reading this and taking time out of your day to worry about how I am