How do i come to terms with being by myself?

As someone with a litany of mental health diagnoses its really hard to confide in people without making them uncomfortable/tired of me or getting them to understand how i feel or think. Ive ruined friendships over this. So i turn to my therapist but we have so many things to go through she is focusing on helping me survive day to day situations and we havent been going into like my deeper worries like family trauma, also im really embarrassed by the things ive done to try and beg my situationships for love. I have fallen into the traps of limerence multiple times.

Im really lonely, i feel unworthy of love or friendship, and i try not to think about it but it comes up when i see a coop game i wanna try and i have no one to play with or when i want to share something and i have no one to talk to. All my friends are taken so they prioritise their partners and everyone is so busy with life i have no one to be a constant. They are also really supportive, and say they are there for me until i open up and they dont know what to do (fair, they are not my therapist thats why i go to therapy). I just wish i could accept it. I understand, really, but i cant stop myself from feeling lonely or sad about it.

Actually, i have alot of big feelings i really get frustrated with. When me and my friends ran into issues with our student club leadership and they decided they didnt want to work with me they talked it out with me and i really understand their circumstances. I just couldnt stop myself from falling into a depression because of it, and it made me spiral because im so frustrated by myself. I also understand that i cant expect my friends to fill up the loneliness i feel and it might be related to my existing trauma, i just cant stop myself from feeling depressed by it and its really frustrating.

A low maintenance friend of mine who i really cherish really enjoys her time alone, and told me that love comes to those who find peace with themself, and know how to be alone. I wish i could reach her level of zen.

Honestly? Ive been actively avoiding people and staying home for the past month(im on loa so i can). I DO feel a sense of peace just staying home reading webtoons and gaming and practicing the guitar and drawing alone at home. Growing up, i always was alone in my room hiding from my abusive grandma. Im blessed enough to afford devices and instruments for my entertainment and i have dogs so im technically not alone. Now i also watch concerts and musicals alone. I have always been alone, but have never been able to shake off the feeling of loneliness, and i really hate myself for it and i feel like i am ungrateful for the blessings i have in my life. I really wish i could be like my friends that are fine with being alone. I dont know what is stopping me.

SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT- tldr need advice on how to be at peace with being alone.