Family Issues

Ok I was going to post this in a AITA group but then I got paranoid the people I’m talking about may be in that group. So I need to vent here because I know they aren’t in here. Hold on for a novel.

I’ve been with my husband for 16 years, married for 14. His mother and sister have never ever liked me. It started when he first brought me to meet them and his sister asked if he had talked to his last girlfriend lately. His mom threw a fit when she found out her daughter wasn’t a bridesmaid in our wedding and asked if she could be a flower girl. She was 19 at the time. Trigger warning for the next part- my husband and I tried for three years to get pregnant. His family knew about our struggles. During that time his sister got multiple abortions because she kept getting pregnant by her boyfriend. Now I am FULLY pro choice, but I asked her to stop telling us when she got one because it was hurtful to me. Her mom called my husband and told him that I need to get over myself and show her some grace.

When we finally got pregnant there was zero joy from them when we told them. Just a “oh finally” from his mom. At my baby shower she and my SIL laughed at me when they entered the venue because my sister got me a flower crown to wear and they thought I looked ridiculous. Yes she told me that. When I had our son, I had to have an emergency c section due to a cardiac event. My MIL was quick to tell me to stop calling it an emergency, it was “urgent at best”. Through our son’s early years I kept swallowing my words because I didn’t want to mess with my husband’s relationship with his family and I wanted them to have a chance to know our son. Plus I’m a horrible a people pleaser. And just to note, my husband continually stood up for me but always to no avail.

There was a lot I won’t mention that has to do with his brother because it’s so so much and I’m already writing a prolific novel but we finally got to a breaking point Christmas of 2023 when my BIL got mad at our 5 year old for beating him at a game. He told me to shut up and we promptly left. He then proceeded to send my husband vile texts about us and how he should be allowed to discipline our son because we aren’t good parents. Keep in mind this all stemmed from our son beating him at a game. We finally decided to go no contact after that holiday when our son told us he was uncomfortable with my MIL and never wanted to see her again. My husband met with her not long after that to tell her what was going on and that he also didn’t appreciate the years of making me uncomfortable and unwelcome. She told him “well she has to want to feel welcomed”. The fuck?!

So it has been nearly 3 years since we last saw my in laws in person. My husband keeps in light touch because his dad is sick, but his mom never reaches out to him. He always has to call her. Despite all this- they have started leaving boxes of toys and candy for our son on holidays. They don’t tell us they’re coming to our house. They don’t knock. They park up the street so we don’t hear a car door close. It creeps me out to the tenth degree and I feel so violated. My husband always confronts them but they keep doing it. So at this point we’ve been checking the boxes and then throwing out most of it.

I know this all is crazy. I’ve been living it for 16 years so I am well aware how crazy it is. If you’ve read this long thank you for listening to my rant. My husband and I can only go over it so many times and we got a mystery box tonight for Easter so I needed to rant.