I never expected this to be life

I had my first child at 28 and I felt prepared. I never wanted children, but my husband had been begging for one child since I was 22 years old and i gave in. All of that doesn’t mean anything because I’ve grown to hate motherhood. Me and my husband don’t have the same love anymore and he’s even grown to resent me. When my children were born I chose to work part time because I trusted him to take care of the bills. Because of this, I am currently working two jobs. There’s no way for me to divorce him right now and not be in ruin and my children have turned out to view me as a strict mother who doesn’t prioritize them. I just never envisioned my life to be like this, I was a teenager who never wanted children, but I allowed my husband to convince me and I am in the worst shape I’ve ever been. I love my children but I just wish that I honored my desires rather than letting society control my wishes.