Vent: I keep failing

I’ve (23 M) tried to do it multiple times. I keep failing.

I tried sleeping pills. When those didn’t work, I tried even more. I tried sleeping with rope and that didn’t work. I tried dry ice but I chickened out. I tried helium and a plastic bag.. twice. I used up the whole canister and somehow I was fine.

I keep failing and each time I find myself SOBBING that not only did I fail… but that I wasted money trying.

I absolutely HATE this. I just want to be done. I’m so fed up with still being here. I WANT TO BE DONE!!!