Advice on executive dysfunction

i got diagnosed recently which wasn’t too shocking to be fair but both my boyfriend (refer to him as a) and my friend (refer to her as s) don’t think i need medication but im not sure

to give you an idea i’m super messy and have always struggled immensely with keeping my spaces tidy and organised and i do genuinely want to sort it out i just get so overwhelmed but starting the task is even harder but to give an example one bad month and it can turn into a hoarders episode disgustingly quick which i am ashamed to admit tbh

but idk when i explain how i feel to a and s they kind of act like yeah it’s hard but i can do it and i’m just not trying hard enough and just don’t have structure and s thinks its cause my parents didn’t force my to tidy my room enough because her mom was quite strict about it (that last bit i think is bogus)

and their against taking medication cause ofc it does mess with your body but i heard some people who acc have adhd talk about how it felt for them to take and it sounded like they were limitlessing (if u don’t get it look up the film limitless) just getting stuff done easily starting tasks easily moving from one task to another

and a just thinks i need structure which i probably do but it feels almost impossible to create said structure

also i failed my last uni cause i was so overwhelmed learning how to take care of myself without being able to rely on family and uni work. i am taking a gap year this year but i was thinking instead of going back next year i just move out get more use to taking of myself by myself cause i feel like if i move out again and start uni ill get overwhelmed with school with and self care again basically and fail but a disagrees and thinks i just need to get on with it basically

i guess i mostly wanna know how people deal with symptoms like mine and how bad is it for you? am i just making excuses for myself? or do the people around me not understand? and if so how can i try to explain or show how it is in my head because its not just procrastination and laziness and im honestly getting tired of shitting on myself for both laziness and procrastination

just to mention my bf and friend have both been very supportive maybe just not as understanding as i’d hoped

i asked for their opinion and they gave it to me but i’ve tried explaining many times how it feels with certain tasks and how hard things sometimes are but i genuinely think they don’t get it

any advice would be fantastic but more clarity to know if i do just need to fix up or a and s need to be more understanding

sorry for anything grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes or whichever