31M. Struggling to find the right dynamic while staying true to myself.

Hey everyone, posting here because I’d love to get some perspective from this community.

​I'm a 31M from Italy, but I’m often in the US (mostly Florida) for work. Being back and forth means I’m constantly navigating two very different cultures.

​In my dating life, I’ve always preferred to hold out for what I’m actually looking for rather than settling. Since I was young, I’ve always been drawn to older women—both for their maturity and their physical presence. On top of that, I’ve always realized I’m more attracted to a dynamic where the woman takes a more dominant role.

​In Italy, these preferences are still pretty taboo. To be fair, it’s not that I’ve lacked options; I’ve actually had plenty of opportunities to get intimate over the years, but I’ve always chosen to wait because I wanted that first time to be something special with the kind of person I truly dream of. It’s been a conscious, personal choice, nothing religious.

​Lately, I’ve been trying to be more open and put myself out there, but I’m finding that my lack of experience at 31 really catches women off guard. It often seems to push them away—some feel a sense of responsibility they don't want, while others just seem confused by it.

​So I’m at a bit of a crossroads: should I just let go of my expectations and get it over with casually just to have that experience? Or should I keep waiting for the specific person and dynamic I’ve always wanted?

​Would love to hear your thoughts.