How to be clear on what you exactly want out of your dream relationship

I’ve been noticing patterns when it comes to my bond with 2 guys, like one has liking towards me to some extent but he doesn’t wanna give it any other tag but want to keep it a friendship and the other one (my previous crush) was clearly maintaining boundaries cuz he saw me as friends

But I’m wondering why this pattern is occurring with me like I see alot of women in relationships

But at this point, i don’t wanna manifest a relationship with either of them cuz that’s not how much dream partner looks or act like

I think I need to clear on what exactly my potential partner should be like and I don’t know how reach that clarity.