Why do your 20s feel like the end of the world

I’m literally so young but I swear I’m going through a early stage”mid” life crisis. Everything is going to shit. No one talks about how horrible the transition period is from being a “child” to an “adult” truly is.

The fact that after being freshly 18 we are supposed to make so many hard choices on such a time limit is crazy with so much at risk. Like what do you mean I’m supposed to have already fantasized what job I want to work for the rest of my life already? What’s worse? Getting a degree that’s practically useless now! I legit love my degree (public health) but it’s so underfunded and with the current administration policies/restrictions there are hardly any jobs LET alone good jobs. So after spending THOUSANDS of dollars I will have to go into ANOTHER program spend MORE money just to get the chance at another job. It’s so stupid I also regret my choice in college. I feel like no one really talks early and long enough for those 18 year olds to fully make a good choice about their future it’s all rushed.

Anyways worse part is I’m practically disabled now. I used to be super healthy but now my ankle sprains so often. I don’t even have enough money to figure out what’s the issue. Let alone if I got a job (don’t have one as I’m a fully time student) but how tf will I maintain a job if I even got one? Like what do you mean I can randomly feel my ankle tense up and ik it’s going to sprain. And it sprains like at least once or twice a month. Swelling is crazy and I have a little lump right underneath my ankle bone when it does sprain.

Also the fact I’m still HEAVILY dependent on my parents makes me want to die. My dad was 17 when he moved out his state and had an apartment. Oh how times have changed. Also what’s worse is I’m not even “lazy” , I worked since I was of age and saved up a good amount of money. But after my parents pulled out of paying for my college (which they promised they would/ never asked they offered) I had to spend all my savings. They also said they would buy me a car and can’t.

So i regret not going to a community college and buying a car. If I had a car I would like to say I could get a job (if my body wouldn’t break so easily) then I could afford to go to the doctor then I could eventually leave my parents.

I truly am grateful my for my parents even if they aren’t the best people. I love how my dad sees me struggling and is offering me help but there is something about being a loser. Like how were you able to figure it out but I can’t? Like I’m grateful for the help but it’s also not his responsibility. Idk how to say it like ik I’m already struggling but also having no autonomy makes it worse. I have no choices at the moment currently but TO BE dependent as an adult or just be homeless.

Even in my state I can’t help but feel ungrateful. There are people who struggle more but accomplish more. While I feel like I’m at a stand still. I really understand how people say envy is the thief of joy or whatever. Seeing other people on other paths really does make you want to give up and try their path even if it’s not right for you. Life is like some cruel form of entertainment for some higher being.

Also everyone is getting married. Idk how people are getting married in this economy…

I’m a little envious because I want to get married. Ik obviously it’s not the right time for me (I’m broke, horrible health, and honestly I don’t deserve my partner) but the desire is still there. Everyone is being mean to young people who marry early but like truly what else is there is life. Idk I’m not saying get married when you’re not stable but truly the world is so shit all around. I genuinely feel like the best thing is to just have someone to come back to.

Also I regret mistreating my partner. Idk maybe it’s because I have been under a lot of stress but I have been so mean. I think I have been self sabotaging my own relationship as I keep trying to “get a reaction” out of my partner. I apologize rn and I am trying to correct my behavior currently but I can’t understand why I do it. Like it’s a spur of the moment blurt of something or twist some words to hear them stutter and like just cave to my nonsense.

Anyways in conclusion your 20’s suck. You’re going to be mean to people who don’t deserve it. Your going to burden your friends will all your worry’s. Your body might fall apart. You’re still dependent on your parents. Your stress, anxiety, and depression will spike because you’re forced to make choices by yourself. Everything sucks! I would rather time jump and skip everything and just go to my 50/60s. Even tho logically thinking that wouldn’t be good because it means I would never develop as a person.