Can I get someone’s opinion on this

Forgive the long story, but 3 months ago my email account was hacked. This was a random, non‑targeted hack, and since then everything has been fine technically speaking. After securing my account after one week, I went over to my OneDrive which, to my surprise, was syncing a few of my iPhone photos. They were a bit embarrassing — not going into details, but nothing too crazy from what I could see.

Without paying too much attention, I deleted everything in there and didn’t think about it again for a week or two. As the weeks went on, my brain started torturing me about what else could have been in there. I try to cast my mind back to all the things that have ever been on my phone and think, “What if they saved this?” or “What if they have that?” I don’t 100% remember what exactly was in there, and I will never know if anything was saved, maybe by a bot or in bulk, and it is killing me.

Over the past few months I’ve been incredibly depressed, thinking about it every moment of every day. What if something is out there on the dark web forever? What if somehow something deeply embarrassing comes back to haunt me? No matter how much I try to rationalise my fear or how much reassurance I get, I can’t shake this feeling off. Even when people tell me I’m overthinking or overreacting, I ask them how they could possibly know if anything was saved or out there.

It makes me feel dirty, tainted, and just not the same as I used to be. I used to be so happy and ready to take on the world. I loved travelling, sports, and all the things that used to bring me joy, and it really scares me that I don’t feel that spark anymore. It feels like I’ve lost a part of myself, and I’m terrified I’ll never be the same again.

Now I spend most of my days in bed, either upset or crying about how tainted or disgruntled I feel. I’d also like to note that after 3 months there is no sign anything was taken, and it seems like a simple financially motivated hack — but that doesn’t make me feel much better.

My soul feels crushed knowing there might even be a 5% chance it’s out there. My therapist said I have PTSD, and I fear that in the digital world this feeling may never go away. I always dreamed of having a great job and a nice, lovely family, but now I feel disgusting, tainted, and as if something is hanging over me that I’ll never be able to get relief from. I’ve suffered a lot with social anxiety over the years and managed to pull through, but this feels so different. I feel out of control and hopeless. What do people think of my situation, and what could I do to feel better?