I just have to accept it

I cry a lot because I think I wont ever be loved unless I get groomed again. I wanted a found family like in movies and shows back then but now I realized people whose families dont like them usually stay disliked unless it's for a bad reason. The nature of the human condition has always been sinful. it just so happened that my condition was a little worse than everyone else, so I just have to wait till I go to Heaven. I believed it even when I was happy, and my faith wavers when I am sad, but I still cling to it. I can't find what I want in its worldly sense anyway. I cried a lot but I think im okay with being a little lonely now.