Tips on going LC

It’s finally reached a point where I’ve given myself the grace of going LC with no guilt (or trying to stay guilt-free at least!)

DH (29M) and I (29F) have been married for 7 years and been together for 11. Over these years, JNMIL has been slowly showing her red flags but it’s finally reached the peak since she went on a huge tirade badmouthing my family who have been nothing but supportive of her while she has never returned the favour. This conversation only took place between DH and herself because she would never be upfront with me about this. There have been multiple instances where she has disclosed things to DH and told him to keep it from me even though he always tells her he doesn’t keep secrets from me. However, she seems deluded and we don’t know if she believes him or not.

Before all of this, DH was seeing JNMIL about once a fortnight and I was seeing her about once a month (he would see her the other fortnight and the once a month we would be together). I’m not going to dictate how often DH sees his mother because their relationship is their own but let’s say that a lot of the mental load sat on myself before this because I would have to remind him to see his mother - obviously I’m not going to be doing this anymore. I don’t want to see her once a month anymore but how do I do this if she initiates it. We aren’t planning on announcing the LC because JNMIL is non-confrontational and I’m not interested in to ‘fixing’ any semblance of a relationship.

I also used to be the one who would write in our group chat to check in on her or to update her on things we’ve done through the week. I’ve stopped messages for a week already and she hasn’t written a thing in there either.

The trouble is that she has no family except for DH (she’s also been divorced from DH’s father for over 20 years) so without my family and I’s contact with her, she only has her small group of friends left. Is her behaviour going to get worse and how do I handle this? At this stage, I also haven’t told my family about any of this because I really don’t want to cause drama and I don’t want my family to be hurt. Another concern of mine is that JNMIL will reach out directly to my family if she thinks something is up, and my father and step-mother are very open people and might tell me to forgive and forget because in our Chinese culture, family is the most important.

Any advice will be appreciated!