Is there something wrong with my head?

I know that most of us here are teenagers, and that we can't give good, accurate medical advice. But I do wanna ask this to those who know of someone with a mental problem (such as depression, autism, ADHD, whatever it is) or those who have one themselves, because some of you may find this relatable. That may give me an idea of whether there is something wrong with me or not.

Quick warning before we begin: this is gonna be a yapfest. If you can't handle reading long text, I've got a tl;dr on the bottom for ya. But I highly recommend you at least skim through the whole thing because some details are very important.

With that out of the way, let's begin:

1. I have a SERIOUS screen problem. What do I mean? I could spend over 6 hours on a screen WHILE being bored as fuck. Attempting to do another activity more often than not, will make me quit it in less than 30 minutes. Either because I don't have the energy to work on a large project, or because I get bored of it. I have a TON of hobbies but I can't seem to individually focus on any of them, so I end up resorting to a screen most of the time and only doing them once in a while, usually for very short periods.
2. I have a habit of roasting myself in conversations. It kills 2 birds with one stone: to sound relatable and funny (and humble), but also as a way to vent without being direct. I've done this several times on many of my old posts (see for yourself if you wish), however none of you seemed to have caught on to it (which I find funny, because I made it PAINFULLY obvious). It's become more of a habit/reflex, so I do it out of instinct. And that includes real life btwwwwwww.
3. I am also extremely random in half of the things I do. When I write btw I write "btwwwwwwwwww" instead (this makes me sound like a femboy ironically). When I want to say hi to someone in text, I don't begin with "hi" or "heya" like a NORMAL HOMO SAPIEN. Nah, I use "e." "potatoes" "HUMAN BEING!!!" "I exist" and other extremely random lobotomized words. The other day my mom told me to do something and I said "I lazy human being" instead of just saying "I don't feel like it". When i greeted my aunt yesterday I just said "I exist" instead of just saying "hi". Yeah... this doesn't feel right.
4. Remember when I said I love roasting myself? Unlike the vast majority of you who don't actually have a proper justification for why they feel like they should die, I DO. I actually LOOK for reasons to backup my thoughts, which is why my inner voice hits like a truck. It's always justified by things from my real life. Situations that happened or are CURRENTLY HAPPENING (so that nobody can say "it's just the past" if it's literally in the present) I will never try to physically self-harm myself (and that's a promise). However, my insane self will justify that by saying: "Living for 70 years in mental pain is truly a better punishment than just attempting to free yourself with instant relief. It's called rest in PEACE for a reason, after all".

If this doesn't sound concerning or distrubing as FUCK to you, then I don't know what is.
And you know what's the best part? If I gave my friend EVERY SINGLE REASON as to why I think I'm an asshole, and they proceed to say it's completely NORMAL, I will crash out on them. What kind of a person thinks such mentality isn't the LITERAL definition of INSANITY in itself? That just goes to show you how fucking hellbent I am on destroying my mind. Or at least, part of my conscience is.

(Below is both a tl;dr and a conclusion)

So, what do we conclude from this?
I am insane because I have the balls to roast myself without any sense of shame, I am insane because I am extremely nonsensical or random in many of the habits I do, I am insane because my dopamine levels are in my grave which is why I'm always bored all the time, I am insane because I have a serious screen time problem, and more.

I will say this again: I am not asking for medical advice. I am asking if any of you do the same thing or know of someone who does similar stuff. If so, and you or them are diagnosed then it could be of great help.

I will also repeat it for the last time: You are free to ask for more context, questions, ANYTHING. I WILL be there to answer. I also highly recommend you check my previous posts for examples, it will help you peeps a LOT.

Again, I am extremely sorry for the yapfest. (you really think the entire community is gonna "work together" and "do research on your old posts" just so they can help a random stranger on the internet? Buddy, you are not a victim in a court with witnesses, please sybau and jfkys)