Afraid I have screwed up with my T

I have been in a difficult situation for a while with my T. I am attached to him and have sexual transference. We have talked about it, but I don't think we've done that enough. I have this huge fear of him leaving/refering me out. That's why I block very often; afraid to cross a certain boundary, feeling ashamed of the intensity of my feelings. Also I feel I should talk about so much going on I can't make up my mind what to talk about and end up not going deep enough when it comes to different subjects.

Because I block I am not 100% open and this has caused difficult sessions. In the last session we disagreed about something, and he ignored what I said twice. He really gave me the tough love about not picking up the ball and not taking my responsibility (which I can admit is true, but that's because I feel blocked). a couple of other things were discussed.

He then all of a sudden suggested group therapy instead of my sessions with him and that has caused my brain to spiral. Because I feel he wants to get rid of me and doesn't understand my attachment to him or thinks I am too much and is giving up on me.

I was very very upset with him when I left and send an emotional (angry) e-mail explaining why I felt this way. Later that evening I send another one to apologize for the emotional e-mail and to add that I indeed realise something has to change.

He always answers my e-mails (not detailed, just 'saw your mail, we'll discuss it in session') but hasn't done that up until now.

So now i'm convinced i've ruined the good thing we had going and he is going to end out therapeutic relationship which will absolutely crush me and I don't now how to deal with my fear. People say he won't do that but I am not convinced.

Any advice/kind words? I am so overwhelmed.