Looking for someone to go with to Tinashe Mugabes DNA show with

Looking for a lady who is down for some fun ... we hire a baby and we go get tested for DNA at Tinashe Mugabes Show , I vehemently ever having sex with you on the show which would be true (unless you want me to add to your body count then that can be arranged )and you vaguely suggest but never say we had sex by saying on the show I was the one that would come kukisser and we would kiss and do things but without ever mentioning it was sex and then when the DNA results come back and they say the alleged father is excluded father . I will do a back flip , but wait Tinashe goes the tested mother is also not the mother and boom we start our own religion and people would wonder for years so where did the baby come from

Requirements must be anywhere from 18-100 ( dont want to be on the show as a pedophile ) Looks wise .. so long as you are biologically not a mountain goat ,we good

Nb midgets are encouraged to apply